Why I’m doing what I’m doing…

Do you want to know why I’m so obsessed with dissecting the subtext in X-Men?

Because, simply put, something big is happening here.

For too long, stories of love between same sex couples have been hidden, buried in innuendo or symbolism. It’s the only way they could be told in intolerant eras, and were only recognizable to those who’d experienced same sex attraction, or those who were well versed enough in queer subtext to know it when they saw it.

But the times we live in now are changing. Tolerance and understanding are spreading like wildfire across the country and across the globe. People are experiencing a second sexual awakening, and whole, new worlds are being discovered.

I follow every news story I can get my hands on in regards to these changes. I’m smitten. In love. Obsessed beyond description. This is the start of a world I’ve always wanted to live in for as long as I can remember.

But, as an artist, I tend to naturally veer more towards the reflection of these social changes in the art world, and no other form is more reflective right now than fiction. Since Brokeback Mountain, which was the first big film to showcase two male leads in a same sex relationship, there has since been an influx of this on the big and small screen.

For me, and for many others I’d imagine, it’s intoxicating. I cannot take my eyes away from it. The only other time I’ve felt this kind of transformative love, this kind of power, was during my musical era.

This change in our world, this piece of evolution that I’ve been given the gift to watch unfold in the moment, has set me aflame. Watching the arts reflect this, even more so.

When I slowly began to realize what was happening with Sherlock, I…was dumbstruck. Taking a story of same sex love and burying it deep in subtext only to spend the entire show digging it back up with the intention of exposing it, turning it into actual text, is the most perfect and profound symbol of what is happening/has happened/will continue to happen in our time. It’s immensely important. It’s art doing what it was made to do.

But when I started seeing similar themes in the X-Men films, and realized there were no sites dedicated to dissecting its subtext, I decided to do it myself. Though I’ve intentionally started opening it up and sharing it bit by bit, the journey is entirely mine– I’m doing this for myself. Diving deep into how the stories were pieced together, crafted, and studying the history of queer subtext alongside this, has been deeply, deeply rewarding.

I feel as though I’m walking this entire historical path of subtext to text, of intolerance to tolerance, through a three film story. Through the symbolism in the films, I am actively observing these social changes and awakenings, and their effect on us as a species. I’m learning how to put together these elements into a coherent story of my own. And I’m doing all of this through the eyes of my own characters as well because this is also their history in the making.

Something is happening here. Something big. Worlds are merging, secrets are being exposed. Putting my energy into becoming a part of that through the X-Men (and Sherlock) subtext is walking the pathway of evolution. Sherlock and X-Men are about to change everything. When Charles and Erik are finally able to express their love openly, when Sherlock and John can do the same, the echoes will reverberate everywhere. Art reflects life, and life reflects art.

These stories will be legend.

To discover this, to know this moment is coming, to watch the idea gestate from seed to child, and then to see the moment of birth- what other experience could be so beautiful? What other force is more powerful than love?

This is why I’m doing what I’m doing. If I want to translate this into my writing, I need to know it intimately. I have to be there when the idea is finally born. For immortal beings like Eros and Anteros, this would be a microcosm of how they’ve seen the definition of love change over thousands of years. I’m living their experience.

And that moment of release… after so much tension built up in the millenniums that have passed by?

My God.

And I’m going to see it. I’m seeing the build to climax now.

I don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful to be alive.


~ by hln351 on April 19, 2015.

One Response to “Why I’m doing what I’m doing…”

  1. Reblogged this on charlesanderik2016.

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